Thursday, 27 March 2014


Unforgiveness weakens the heart and dampens one’s spirit when “I’m sorry” is not enough to make reconciliation.

Problems, challenges, hurts, the sleepless nights and the tears streaming down one’s eyes are arguably unavoidable in relationships and marriages. More often than not, these painful moments leaving deadly scars on people’s memories could simply emanate from the choice of words we use.

Misunderstanding and arguments usually raise their ugly heads and poke their noses into people’s marriages and relationships all because of differences in one’s values and expectations. Verbal and physical abuse may arise when one’s expectations turn out to be mere imaginations and fantasies.

I have often heard people say “I’ll never forgive him/her. God will surely punish him!” May be you have been hurt to the point where the mere mention of that person’s name can turn sweet honey sour in your mouth.

If the mere mention of someone’s name can flashback all the hurting memories and ugly past lives, then you might be still holding on to those past lives. There are a number of times where “I’m sorry” is not enough to make you get forgiven and reconciled. It is painful to remain helpless watching your marriage, relationship and true friendship slip away through your fingers.

What must you do?

1.      Let go off your chest the pains of the past: The only solution to your past is your future and the enemy of your future is still holding on to those ugly and hurting past lives. If you don’t let go off your past, hurts, pains and those disturbing thoughts and memories, it will rather let you down. Make up your mind to let go and make amends. Unforgiveness and anger will definitely turn into bitterness and anger. Bitterness and anger are simply like drinking poison and expecting another person to die. Man, you are rather killing yourself slowly by harboring those deadly things in your heart.

2.      Go back to God: The fastest and best way to heal yourself is to go back to God. Ask God to heal your heart, soul and enable you to forgive yourself and the offender.

3.      Seek godly advice: At times, the problems could be too heavy for you to handle. The more you think about figuring out the best way out, the worse the situation stares you in the face. Don’t wait until the situation weighs you down to the point of committing suicide. There is more to life than ending it ignorantly through suicide, poison, gunshot or whatsoever.

4.      Never revenge: “Vengeance is mine”, says the Lord. Ever felt like venting your spleen on that person who might have caused you so much pain, losses and the worst ever? It is needless to do so. Allow God to deal with each of us.

5.      Never curse: One of the worst things people do is to evoke deities and curse, rain insults and do the unthinkable as a way of ruining the person’s life. One thing you don’t know is the covenant God may have with such person. God told Abraham that “I will bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you”, Gen. 12:31. Man, it is better to allow God to deal with that person than cursing him or her because you might never the covenant God has with him or her.

6.      Reorganize the pieces: Your future is more important than the past. One of the fastest ways to move on and not feel the pains is to plan and move forward. If you remain in the mess, the more you mess up. After fixing the problem, plan your life and move on. A better life easily makes you forget the past and wipes away any regret.

God bless you for reading. Please feel free to share with friends and love ones.