Tuesday, 18 February 2014


Relationships are very important and form the integral part of our lives. Man is created to live in a community coupled with different caliber of people from different religious backgrounds, values, expectations and education?

Over a decade ago, the rate of divorce cases among wedded Christians is not only alarming but disheartening and scaring to the singles who want to marry. Research shows that 79% of divorce cases are as a result of lack of commitment. The second major cause is too much unnecessary arguments. 

Arguments normally result from differing views as to who, what and which are wrong and right. Arguments are unavoidable in a relationship but without proper moderation, argument can easily ruin and wipe out the relationship or marriage in a flashing moment. 
Two critical elements normally fuel arguments in every relationship and marriage. 

1   .      Values: These are the basic things you treasure and are very important to you. Ironically, what is important to you may not be important to your partner at all due to your background and training. Most often, no one wants to compromise his or her values for the others values to overrule. If there are some values you should hold dearly in marriage, then it should be the following:

a.      Both accepting Jesus as Lord and Saviour
It is important to know who is Lord over your spouse. A different Lord and object of worship will surely breed arguments because your partner may not understand and accept your object of worship and some practices.

b.     Respect Each Other Without Reservation
Absence of mutual respect in every relationship is like wild fire triggering small but will consume on a whole. If you are able to respect your partner without any reservation, then you can live with, tolerate and be at peace with each other. 

Disrespecting your partner because of weakness, background, race, colour, financial status and other teething problems is like a nagging tooth ache. You cannot chew well until it is pulled out.

c.       Managing Money
Who handles the cheque book? Why are you poking your nose into my personal affairs; how much I earn, spend on what and what? Your values will determine whether you will save money or spend anyhow.

d.     Raising Children
Several factors come to play in raising children in the family. Beliefs and practices, personal values and couples expectation normally shape the life and the nurturing of every child. While the mother wants to raise the children the way her mum did in addition to her personal values, daddy may want something different which may be in sharp contrast with the wife’s values.

It is important to respect your spouse’s value even if it doesn’t make sense to you. Never condemn and sharply criticize your spouse’s values without letting them know the other side of the value you are seeing that doesn’t augur well. If only we can make conscious efforts to understand and respect each other, then arguments will be minimal and geared towards productive activities. 

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